So we’ve waved goodbye to 2017 and welcomed in 2018, but what does the start of this brand New Year mean? For many it means making New Years Resolutions in the form of one way or another usually resulting in us overhauling ourselves in some way.
It may be going on a diet, giving up smoking or drinking, promising to finally do that thing you’ve been putting off….. but generally from all I’ve seen it seems that New Years Resolutions are all about wanting to make a better version of yourself and being the best you that you can possibly be.
Now I see absolutely nothing wrong with this, but I do sometimes think that we try and attain the impossible in absolute perfection. Comparing ourselves to others and feeling inadequate.
Myself included, like many of you, have put on a few extra pounds over the Christmas period. However, I don’t intend to put myself on any sort of crash diet because you see, its taken me many years to finally appreciate the skin I’m in and love myself for who I am.
When I was struggling with infertility and baby loss, I felt this body of mine had failed me in the worse possible way. I felt like I wasn’t a real woman. When my dreams came true and I was finally able to have a baby of my own, I worried about how much weight I was gaining during my pregnancy and how quickly I could lose that weight and get back into shape afterwards. With my first baby I was careful with what I ate and drank and I put on a total of 1 and 1/2 stones at full term and it took me exactly two weeks following the birth to get back to my pre-pregnancy figure and clothes. At the time I was proud of this achievement, but now looking back I wonder why. I can only assume its because I was putting myself under undue pressure to be like other the women who I’d seen who had done this.
When I had my second baby, I had to have an emergency C-section so the 2 stone I gained during that pregnancy didn’t shift quite so quickly. In fact I was still a couple of pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight when I became pregnant with my third child 10 months later.
After the birth of my third child though, I had a bit of an epiphany! I realised that this body of mine is in fact quite simply bloody amazing!! It’s done an awesome job of housing and caring for my three little loves while on the inside, delivered them all safely into the world, breastfed them, cuddled them, loved them, wiped their tears, kissed their heads….I could go on and on, but I’m sure you get the gist.
Yes, I might be a little bit heavier than what I would ideally like to be, I might have cellulite and stretch marks and things have definitely changed with age, but you know what none of that matters to me anymore.
I’ve got four amazing boys in my life who love me whole-heartedly and unwaveringly just the way I am. My husband treats me like his Queen and my little boys worship me always wanting Mummy cuddles and to tell me they love me.
So this New Year, there won’t be a new me as such just a new attitude. I’m going to learn to love me just the way I am. Instead of worrying what others think of me, I’m going to try and see me the way my boys do. Instead of fretting, “does my bum look big in this”? I’m going to throw myself into enjoying life, having adventures and making memories with my loves.
Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2018 brings you all good health and happiness xx
Thanks, as always, for reading